world, if you're listening, just hear me out.

i don't know.

maybe i do feel things deeply. but sometimes i wonder if i keep it buried. i think that's why i go through spells of emotion. eventually i just can't keep it in any longer and i breakdown. i loose my confidence, my sense of belonging. i'm my biggest enemy and no-one realises how much.

i let people walk all over me. use me for a day. i'm there for people 24/7. whenever they need a friend, advice, a shoulder to cry on. i care so much for others. i don't give a toss how it affects me. but sometimes i need the help and it'd be nice to know how many of those people would do the same for me. who gives a FUCKING SHIT about me?

i'm loosing all spirit. i really shouldn't be left alone with my thoughts. i smile, i laugh, i keep trying, keep the brave face on, but at the minute i don't seem to get to a happy place. i get others there, make sure they are there, but where am i left? yes. right here. writing this.

i want to get out, sit on a beach and cry and cry and cry until i have created my own ocean.

i know this isn't the greatest read and really it's just a stream of consciousness. and i apologise. but i have so much weighing me down right now. i just needed to get part of it out. we all have our moments. and at the minute, i'm going through mine. so please, world, if you're listening, hear me out.