once upon a time, i was never tired at bedtime.

it's been a day of lows. a day where everything has hurt, and happiness was just left behind in the crowd.

i need a cold t-shirt. i need my bed. i need a book. i need a plan. 

i need to infuse myself. open my windows wide and feel my cheeks breathing the cool air; drink until i feel cleansed; hug someone until i feel their love; journey back to a time when i wasn't tired or hurting or crying. 

to a time where toys and my younger sister was all that would be needed to make a day 'good'. 

where days were shorter than nights.

where hearing my father coming through the door at eight o'clock would put a smile on my face.

where everything was enjoyed, not analysed.

where my days were simple but beautiful.

and i had all the time in the world before my life needed to begin.