a sudden dose of the regretful kind of nostalgia.

i'm realising how many stupid mistakes i've made. the people i've hurt. 

i've been so naive. 

i'm torn. i'm two different people. we're attached by a heart and mind.  we're not team-players.

i'm my parent's daughter.

i'm a friend who listens. 

i'm a person who doesn't normally do impulsive things.

i'm a person who is starting to. 

i'm scared of who i'm becoming. i'm just scared.

i want to be better. i want to be seen as together, and strong, and fearless, and reliable. i want you to understand me. i want to let you in. i want to be seen as better than this.

i have no idea what's been happening. my mind is a mess. i'm realising it, with the days of silence. i need to sort everything out.