a hint of a thing they call peacefullness.

this afternoon was beautiful.

lying on a waterproof.

hands running over the grass.

the sound of 'my chemical romance' filling my ears.

feeling the rays hitting the roof of my skin and soaking in, healing in some way. 

feeling the warm breeze roll over me. 

a plane gliding by.

it revitalises.

and makes you see the joy. joy that the world will always provide, away from the mayhem of yesterday and today. 

even it's only once a year, or a minute a week, but the sun will shine.

something to make each one of you smile.

all the hope for today:

once upon a time, i was never tired at bedtime.

it's been a day of lows. a day where everything has hurt, and happiness was just left behind in the crowd.

i need a cold t-shirt. i need my bed. i need a book. i need a plan. 

i need to infuse myself. open my windows wide and feel my cheeks breathing the cool air; drink until i feel cleansed; hug someone until i feel their love; journey back to a time when i wasn't tired or hurting or crying. 

to a time where toys and my younger sister was all that would be needed to make a day 'good'. 

where days were shorter than nights.

where hearing my father coming through the door at eight o'clock would put a smile on my face.

where everything was enjoyed, not analysed.

where my days were simple but beautiful.

and i had all the time in the world before my life needed to begin. 

here's to turning 18 and hitting the adult world with a flying pace.

sorry everyone for the lack of posts recently. 

for the last month, things have been crazy. 

and by crazy i mean:

i am surrounded presently by my filofax, sheets of unfinished college work, unread books, driving lesson times, birthday cards and presents from this weekend, UCAS forms on my internet tab and clothes that are hanging from literally everything. i don't know how i'm still moving. i'm so very tired. but i still seem a mile or two behind. 

i hope things slow down soon, even if it's just for a second. i need to catch a breath.