there are no other words really.

i'm just sorry.

i'm getting to the point where i don't have enough of me to catch everything.

i don't know what's happening. 

life is moving. constantly.

and i'm running behind.

in a trance of work, cultery, parties and people. 

i don't know how much longer i can continue.

i'm scared.

i'm scared i'm going to break again. 

i'm in a state where nothing seems real anymore.

a state of tiredness and exhaustion. 

and maybe, just maybe, none of this is real.

and at any second, 

i may wake, 

with tears streaming down

and the world a little brighter. 

the worst part is that i have everything i've been hoping for.

it can be from the sound of my favourite song on the radio, to the t-shirt hanging on next door's washing line.

there have been countless times when a person has stated that i am "pleased very easily" or "it's not hard to make me laugh". 

and i guess this is true.

but it's the way i get through things. 

finding the simple things in life really make the amazing things seem even more phenomenal. 

i need something to make me smile every day.

after all, there's no point of having it, if it's never to be used.  

and i don't think i could live any other way. 

i could really do with a third conscience right about now.

unfortunately, my head and my heart don't run down the same line. 

they are confused and scared and untrustworthy. 

so for this afternoon, i'm just going to work and let my brain tick on round, and my heart beat. 

because quite frankly, i have no clue what else to do.

i'd quite like to run, but i'm too tired for such things.